(This is copied from my other deviantART, so you are seeing this same post, from user GothicRavenGoddes, fear not. That is one of my other accounts. Still me, I promise.)
The first time I held him, when I got him home, I knew he and I were meant to be. I knew we were to live out our days together.
He was so beautiful and perfect.
He was the love of my life. The love affair started with one picture, and as time went on, I fell deeper and deeper in love. And he fell in love with me. And we spent 5 years of happiness together.
But August 10, 2013, all of that changed. He had been sick for several days leading up to this. And I was in the hospital, and I'd be in there for another few days (so they told me anyways). He finally got diagnosed, but it was fatal. A fatal disease with no cure, but one that could have been prevented. So while I'm hooked up to IVs full of fluids and scary antibiotics, my roommate snuck him into my room so I could say my last goodbyes to the one being in my life who made it brighter. Who changed my life for the better. Who was the love of my life. Who had gotten me through so much. Because he had suffered enough and it was time for him to go home. It was time for him to cross the bridge that would take him to the other side.
I was released on the 11th, instead of two days later, so I was able to hold him as they put him to sleep. The last thing I told him was that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. And that I loved him and that I was sorry. And as the pushed the plunger of poison into his veins, I felt a major part of me die with him.
Ryuu was more than just a cat. He was more than just a Familiar. He was my son. Because I can't have children, and so my child's soul had to find me another way. Only for me to fail him and have to send him back home. Because my only job was to protect him and I failed. The vet made him sleep, but FIV took his life. We were under the impression that he had be vaccinated for this horrible disease. And learned the hard way that he hadn't been. But because he was a rescue and not bought, there isn't anything we can do in retaliation.
My heart breaks a little more, every single day he is gone. I cry every single day. I mourn him. I apologize to him. Because he should be here and he isn't. He should have died an old man. Barely able to walk. Eyes full of life, body full of gray hair. But instead, he died in the prime of his life, with a skinny body, and half-dead eyes, 19 days shy of his 6th birthday.
So please. Please let this be a lesson to you. Vaccinate your pets. FIV CANNOT BE PREVENTED OR CURED WITH DIET AND PROBIOTICS. YOU HAVE TO VACCINATE THEM FOR THIS OR THEY WILL DIE! Life can be prolonged if you catch in time. But like Ryuu, it often isn't caught until its too late to do anything about. FIV is deadly, but preventable. It is the cat form of AIDS. Think about that. It is a disease that eats away at their defenses and they get sick constantly. End stage is very ugly and progresses very fast. Ryuu was fighting for two weeks. And then he was gone. And there was nothing I could do but hold him and comfort him while he took his last breath.
He was everything to me. I will never forget him.
I wear his collar around my wrist, next to Bones's memorial bracelet. I miss my boys so much. I know they are together now. Not just around my wrist, but on the other side. It breaks my heart that they are gone, but I'm glad they are together again. I look forward to the day when I can hold my sons again.